Sunday, September 28, 2008

Cell Phones

When I walk out of work with the thousands of other Zombies, I find myself catching up on my personal phone calls.  So my first call is always Jason just to say I am on my way home and see if he's still at work and so on and so forth.  Second call is Tom where I pretend he is my big closing deal and I am the person still working after I walked out and logged off.  I may also do that with Jason (when I can't reach Tom), where I pretend to close a huge deal as well and we squeeze where I am and when I will be home.  I do this everyday and I still think it's hilarious.  

Well, everyday I have no network or can't call lout for about 5 minutes.  I am technology challenged so I thought at first it was me.  I can't dial, I blame the phone as I have been since I bought the damn thing, then I walk and I watch.  I see all the Torontonians on their cells, working hard.  I create these pretend conversations, i.e. "gotta close that deal, going to check my blackberry emails and send that contract or written consent to you to close the deal and make tons of money.  I like Money.  I like to work and work hard all the time even after I left work. Money money money, gotta make the money."  

I came to the conclusion that too many people are clogging up the network. (nevermind my terms for whatever happens.)  Too many people still working and calling at the same time.  So while I may have an emergency or just want to shout out to my peeps, I can't because they continue to work.  I am not making this shit up.  I ease drop and listen.  

The suits and the cells and the people just walk and don't appreciate the surroundings.  Regardless of the same street and door I walked out of everyday for three years in Montreal, when I walked out I would smell the air, walk around the same unfixed broken sidewalk and appreciated the store windows, if they were changed, updated, laugh or love the clothes, watch people, see what they were drinking and talking about.  Alot of that doesn't happen here, everyone stays in their own world, the bubble as I call it.  So I watch, I listen and I will continue to enjoy the same street, same stores and all the little things.  You can learn alot about a city just by watching.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Upcoming topics to be covered

The people and their cell phones
The people and holding doors (or lack there of)

1 and a half weeks

So.  One week and 3 days at work so far.  What an experience.  It is so different from Montreal.  I spent 5 days in orientation which in itself is amazing.  I met all the departments, learned the brand standards.  Which I already knew as I have been working for the brand for three years, the only difference is I read it on my own as the brand never offered French so the Hotel couldn't teach it to the employees.  I spent all day Monday and Tuesday reviewing safety standards.  It took me everything not to laugh out loud watching the videos a la 1983 with people slipping and falling all over the place.  It was me on that video without the hair sprayed hair and giant shoulder pads.  Seriously people, who ever took a health and safety course at work???   My modo is suck it up.  I have fallen, slipped, twisted, sprained, bruised, bled and I can really go on for my  three years at the Hotel.  I pulled a muscle near my heart 2 years ago and I could barely breathe and talk and let me tell you my modo SUCK IT UP really helped me get through the pain.  

Now I walk around the office and someone leaves a filling cabinet open and all i can think is "Christ someone can really trip on this" a chair was in the middle of the room and again I caught myself thinking "geez I hope no one get hurts.."  It poisoned me and it has to stop.  I like the danger.  I fell up the stairs this week and burned myself with coffee, so I leave my purse and things to make sure no one walks in it, clean up the mess and the lovely ladies from Human Resources walk by and ask what happened?  I fell but I was just cleaning up, so sorry for the mess.  Then they ask, did you tell your boss?  I reply with well no, I just fell and the mess is clean and well frankly I am behind because of my stupidities that I am a little annoyed with myself and I will be more careful.  Well they insist I tell my boss as I may feel the pain in the upcoming days???  I was like, listen ladies, I fell up some stairs and dropped coffee on myself, I am just happy I didn't dirty myself.  I have a crap load of work to do, the boss is right in the middle of the marketing plan, can we just pretend you didn't see anything??  In Montreal we like to make things go away....if you know what I mean....Long story shorter, the boss comes by the GM and staff, there are forms on my brought me back to the time in Montreal sometime in March when I opened too many drawers and the filling cabinet fell on me and I picked it up, put the stuff back in and moved on with my life (might I add no one in the office helped as they were laughing way too hard) that is the way I like it.  No blood and tears you can laugh.  Now here I am in Toronto with health and safety forms?????!!!!  I am going nuts here and they would just be horrified there!  

All in all it was a great week, so many stupidities with the TTC which I will cover in the blog shortly, it is too fresh and I am still to angry to talk about it.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Employed bitches

So, I got a job.  This will get me to begin socializing with the Toronto folks.  I feel after 6 weeks here my social skills have left me, I have become bitter and angry.  I compare myself to a pit bull.  I have been caged and left to fend for myself alone, fighting for my food and basic needs for 6 weeks.  I shop alone, walk alone, eat alone and now, on September 17th, will be into a social world with people I may or may not have anything in common with.  I actually look forward to it.  I laugh at the thought of me sitting in my office, my computer will not function, I will begin to curse uncontrollably in French and everyone will think how beautiful the French language is while I have defamed the church and everything close to it with my words of hate.  I don't want to brag but I had a nickname at my work in Montreal, I was known as Trash Mouth.  The thing I hear the most since my departure is how much my peeps miss the cursing.  I really left a legacy.  Virginia my sweet replacement is the Virgin Mary compared to me who in a religious comparison maybe Mary Madeleine or Magdaleine (not sure of the spelling or if its her but I am referring to the prostitute Jesus befriended, who maybe talked trash).  Mel Gibson didn't get into that in his movie so it's all I know about that broad.  

My last thought for today, there are a lot of shootings and murders here in Toronto, maybe it's best for now if I don't socialize with strangers.  


Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Mike Holmes aka the other love of my life

There are a few positive things with my move here, one being my new boyfriend celeb a la Canada which is Mike Holmes.  This guy rocks my world, he is like the Simon Cowell of Canada of home renovations the Stacey and Clinton What not to Wear of Canada of home renovations the Dr. Phil of home renovations.  Why I had no idea of this wonderful brilliant man's existence until I crossed the borders into Ontario makes me sick.  Why do we not have access to this renovation genius in Montreal and how I never found him on random channels during the winter months makes me angry and empty.  Maybe you know of him, but if he was on a pay channel, this guy should be everywhere.  Merci Monsieur Holmes for making my life here in Toronto a little better.


Tuesday, September 2, 2008

The first three weeks

Right now at this second while I write these words I am leaving Kingston, it just stopped there since I left from Cornwall I am stuck beside some broad who keeps saying friggin' and oh that's perfect while she speaks in her Toronto voice with her Toronto laugh which is making me want to stab my ear drums out with a toothpick.  Ya know.  But je respire par le nez, des grands respire et je pense a Monkey et je me calme le pom pom.

What's it like in Toronto you ask?

You know this Toronto girls phone just rang and she picked up and said "Holy heck"??  What's up with that?  Bon, I am off track again.  I am trying to hate the city as I have my whole life for 30 years before I stepped foot here and frankly - I can't.  The city is wonderful.  It is clean, it is organized, it is huge.  They have stores we don't have and wonderful flowers in the city and clean garbage cans, they have 24 hour construction and they get things done.  They have a baseball team with a really nice place to watch them that has a retractable roof.  Something in Montreal that we just couldn't figure out.  Bravo and hats off to this city.  

What are the people like you ask?

Great question.  I hate the people.  I have no problems hating them, in fact it comes easy.  Just watching them walk, talk, breathe burns me and pisses me off.   NOW on the train this young Toronto punk kid is walking around with condoms and he thinks this is funny?  Broad beside me thinks this is friggin' funny too!  Is it me?  My age or is this the Montrealer in me.....that is the question I ask myself everyday.  Am I a bitch or is this a Montreal thing.

Well, I like a few people from Ontario, I have BFF Adrian who is bitter and angry so we get along great, and BFF Marcy and BFF Frank Deluca our agent, he is friggin' perfect (my new term from my BFF broad beside me) and BFF Carla from InterCon Front street.  She's neither bitter or angry she is just a really nice person.  

How's condo life you ask?

I am a condo girl now, security and concierge and a little mail box, ya know you can send me a package and someone at all times will sign for it!  I never have to set foot in a Canada Post office again!

I have BFF Phalycia Security agent who speaks French so we bonded, BFF Farouqui who was short with Jason so we dropped the BFF to him. 

I heard there are a lot of Chinese-Korean-Japonese-Asians in your building, is this correct?

It certainly is.  Jason thinks it is because we live at 8 Rean Drive and 8 is a lucky number for them.  So far no BFF chinese people, there is a crazy guy who was super friendly (but really weird in a crazy way) on day one and now is just weird and silent.  Which spooks me cause it is a silent kind of stab you in the throat when i take the train, subway, bus....kinda way.  

How's Monkey you ask?

Monkey has adapted very well in the Condo.  She sleeps, eats and enjoys every minute.  She is learning English twice a week, I am home schooling her at this time, there are too many chinese that may want to eat her.  She did run into the hallway a few times and freezes like me in front of a Coach store.  Frozen.  

Jason is away for two weeks so it will be a quiet week filled with more discovery and relaxation.  

Miss you Montreal et mes amis!

Gros calins xox et a bientot!